My Dream FLR

If you have stumbled into My website, there is a good chance you know or are at least curious about kink. Perhaps you are a submissive yourself and want to know more about Me. But I am sure not all of you know one of My most favorite acronyms: FLR

Female Led Relationships

Yes. This is a real thing.
And no, it is not always embedded in kink. Like any typical relationship, it can have kink in it and it also does not have to.

Female Led Relationships ( FLR ) was never really on My radar or even had a name to it until I entered the kink world. However, I’ve seen it modelled My entire life with women around Me. Growing up in Asia, I have seen it so often in Asian women around Me which is why I always chuckle when I hear the “submissive Asian woman” stereotype. That was so far from My own reality. Bold women is within My blood line. In fact, the actual family name I have is matriarchal, dating back 4000 years. Something I am proud of.

FLR like any other relationship perpetuates in many forms.
I suspect some of you may have even seen signs of it growing up.

Perhaps your mother’s words were final law in the household.
Or your girlfriend ordered for both of you at the restaurant.
Perhaps your ex-partner decided it would be fun sexually leading your bedroom antics.
Maybe you even found yourself drawn to bold and powerful women all through your adolescence.

Welcome to seeing and perhaps even experiencing the joys of FLR.

I found that people who are drawn to FLR are people who are naturally drawn to smart, powerful, bold and enticing women who know their sense of self worth and power. You find yourself being attracted to them.
People who thrive at being in a FLR seem to be people who enjoy the feeling of watching women take the lead and follow Her.

For some FLR is the dream. It is the goal. I have had many submissives tell Me it is impossible to find a woman who wants these things in a woman which is why they seek out dominatrixes. I have found this most puzzling because I am a dominatrix and I only have FLRs, multiple ones. Where were you? Because, if compatible, we could be in one. You and Me.

As FLR, like any relationship, is different for everyone and perpetuates differently, I figured I would share what is My dream FLR which to be honest, seems rather elusive.

My Dream FLR

To start off with, you have done your research on Me. You have read My blog posts, followed Me on Twitter to see My humor and My politics, subscribed to My AVN Stars to have a more intimate look at Me. You have self determined you are interested in a seeking a FLR and are self aware enough to understand, like every relationship, it will take time, patience, commitment and work. You also recognize that a genuine personality, value and goal compatibility is key. Which means, rather than changing yourself too dramatically to be with Me, you are self aware, you know yourself, your own desires in an FLR and reflect on seeing if you are compatible with Me based on how I am in an FLR:

1. I want to get to know you deeply
There is nothing sexier or more special to Me about hearing about your life. Tell Me what excites you, moves you, what you have read recently…

2. You accept I have multiple partners.
I am polyamorous, something I will discuss another day in a separate blog post. Simply put, I do not and will never have only one partner ( which is known as being monogamous ). I do not believe that all partners in My life will give Me everything I need for a fulfilling life, which is why I will always have more than two ( If you practice polyamory, you know the book I am referencing ) . And no, I will not become monogamous simply because of your existence to Me. No matter how “good” or devoted you are.

3. You will allow Me to mold you into the best version of yourself.
Unless I am already pleased with your current self ( which for some I am! ), I will likely encourage better daily/weekly/monthly practices. Some of you would benefit from meditation and some valuable reading materials. Allow Me to guide you and be open to self improvement.

4. I want to do fun, naughty and exciting things with you ( in person & on the phone/skype )
I do not require to see you daily, if fact – I would prefer not. I am intensely independent and like My own personal time. I enjoy weekly, bi weekly skype/phone chats with you.

5. You are comfortable with NOT talking/texting/emailing everyday.
I am highly independent, the best people I have FLR with are people who have the self confidence and independence to contain themselves to a large part till we have a phone/Skype date. If you are extremely needy, you are probably not My type. In fact, gather your stories and share them to Me when we finally speak, then we have so much excitement to share with each other.

6. You contribute to My life
This is non-negotiable. You will take care of Me allow Me to live the best life possible.
People who stay in My life financially contribute to it. Because, if I am not with you, I could literally be out there making money at high hourly rates. The more generous you are with your gifting and your heart, the more I see our relationship as a deeper commitment and worthy of My attention and affection.

7. You prioritize Me and My desires and boundaries
You will always respect My boundaries, you will always respect My time, if I ever want to escalate something I will. But know that always want My desires met and My boundaries honored.

8. You possess these traits:
– Independent
– Always self improving
– Kind
– Patient
– Compassionate
– Consistent 
– Honest and transparent communicator
– Good listener
– You are not focused on your own pleasure but Mine
– Self aware
– Know that Black lives matter and a willingness to challenge your learned notions of patriarchy, racism and heteronormativity

9. Love? Yes. Love.
I’m not a machine, I can actually fall for you. And no doubt, you can also fall in love with Me. But I’m going to be honest with you, this takes time for Me. I don’t simply fall in love with someone in a month, it has – on average taken Me many months, sometimes half a year or more to develop deep feelings for anyone. This is after all, a relationship. So to assume this will happen right away is presumptuous. To assume that love will always be there is also presumptuous. It is a living existence like any and all relationships. People fall out of love and some people stay in love for a LONG time. Sometimes it will come and sometimes it will go. And when it goes, there will be grieving. This is why the bar is so high for you to enter into My life. The stakes for Me is extremely high.

Questions:

How would You describe being in an FLR with You to be?
Ans: Honestly, gentle femdom, lots of emotional and intellectual discussions, lots of laughing and enjoying each other’s company. It feels light, exciting, sweet, thrilling and darkly stimulating. People who stay the longest appreciate My intellectual curiosity, My love of life and resounding desire to better Myself and the world around Me. They admire My independence and kindness and do not take any of it for granted. Alot of them are surprised that when in a relationship with Me, it feels easy as long as they possess the traits above in point 8. I am wonderfully kinky and open to talk about even the most challenging topics. I will also call you out when you exhibit behavior worth correcting. I am also human, I make mistakes, I say things that perhaps need reflection, so a forgiving heart is also important as you cannot lose your sense of My humanity.

WOW! I’d love to be in an FLR with You! How do I go about doing this?
Ans: How exciting! Schedule a 1-2 hr phone session with Me. I will use it as a chance to get to know you and decide on our fit. Compatibility is key for Me. And yes, it will have to be tributed because if you cannot afford a phone call with Me, there is a good chance you cannot support Me in My point 6 above. I also need to anticipate tributes for this because if not I would be getting hundreds of non-serious inquiries. You need to stand out to Me by showing Me you value and honor My time. Know that, just like in a first date – if we aren’t too compatible I will let you know and we should move our separate ways. But if I see potential, I will be willing to keep on exploring. I detest any begging in an FLR. If I determine we are not a fit, move on and accept our only potential dynamic is in sessions.

Will I need to be in the same city as You to have an FLR with You?
Ans: No, actually most of My FLR dynamics are across the country. They fly down to see Me or I fly down to see them a few times a year. We have weekly, bi-weekly skype chats or phone calls between them.

How is this different from Long Distance Domination?
Ans: I get to know you more as a human being and you get to know Me more as a human being. There can be what you perceive as domination in a typical domination session I have with submissives but mostly it will be Me dictating the relationship.

It sounds more financially affordable to be with you in an FLR than in a Distance Domination/regular session situation, is that true?
Ans: No. It’s not. It’s the MOST high valued experience I have because it is SO intimate to Me. The risks I take emotionally is immense.

Can I polyamorous as well to be in an FLR with You?
Ans: Yes, you can – but honesty and transparency is key to Me. Some people prefer to be completely devoted to Me some people want to spread their time. But if I find you slowly slipping away from My life then you cannot stay.

Final thoughts

The truth is, I love being in multiple FLR but it’s not easy to find what I am looking for. Too many people are focused on their own pleasure and cannot see what I want which are quite simple, all stated above. Many people are thrown by the financial requirements I have but there is no other way for Me to be with someone if they do not contribute to My life that way as this is a big emotional commitment for Me. And no, there are very few positions for this available because I have limited emotional capacity. If doors are closed, that’s it.

I see Myself updating this blog post as I discover new things about Myself.
Thank you for reading.I hope you find your own personal fulfillment in the FLR of your dreams.

Sincerely,
Domina Elara